Photo by Andrew R.
Darbyshire |
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FUTURE APPEARANCES (GIGS) |
I have been very busy all year
with music and a number of other things. Watch out for
some of my new musical instruments.
I will be using them a lot in 2008.I
have just one gig booked at the moment and I will add
others as they come in.
Apologies for my lack of updates all last year The
venues did advertise but, I suppose I should have made
the effort!!!
You know I was there!!
To all those people who have
performed my songs, I say thanks. I appreciate the
compliment!!
13th
March 2008
At Chorlton Folk Club, Ellesmere Road, Chorlton. Double
bill with Peter Butler.
http://www.chorltonfolk.co.uk
Contact me at
john@ukelo.co.uk
for any information.
I can
usually be found, nearly, every Wednesday at the Shoulder of
Mutton, Lockwood, Huddersfield ---- along with some
great musicians and poets. |
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Here is a, sort of, little poem I wrote last year----- with the best of intentions!
The Little Lamb
It was a bad lamb and a mad lamb and it wanted a piece of meat
It didn't want any bloody grass like it was supposed to eat
It pulled its lips back in a snarl and bared its
herbivorous teeth
And snorted through its nose like some wild and dangerous beast
The farmers wife had gone out of her mind because life had become so
contrary
Instead of Mary having a little lamb, the little lamb had had Mary
Just a shoe and some school books were left by that lamb from hell
And later, it sprang through the kitchen window and ate the farmers wife
as well
The sheep were in the night shelter. they looked where the Lamb used to
be
And there they found a makeshift bookcase gnawed out from the trunk of a
tree
There were many learned tomes and notes, textbooks and thesis
But the book with the most hoof prints on it was Darwin's 'Origin of
Species'
Notwithstanding contravention of probability and causation
That crazy lamb had given itself a damn good education
And as the sun was rising and a brave new day was dawning
The sheep came out of the shelter all bleating and yawning
And there above the shelter, on his hind legs on the roof
Was that jumped-up educated lamb with a pamphlet in its hoof
Ewes, Rams, Sheep and Lambs I have words that you must hear
In my hoof I hold a promulgation that will fill you all with fear
At first I thought it was just a list of lambs with interesting names
I had heard of 'Billy the kid' and thought
lamb madras, vindaloo and dansak, were basically, much the same
But as I read the small print, I found more and more reason to worry
And if we don't act fast we'll all end up on the wrong side of a curry
Their flag was a takeaway menu their rage it knew no bounds
As lamb madras and a thousand sheep, broke free, and headed for town
All around the town they stood, for children to come and pet them
But when the children touched their woolly coats
The lambs jumped up and ate them
And the mothers and the fathers cried 'this is evil this is wrong'
Lamb Madras spat out a bone and growled
'Depends which side you're on'
And so to the houses of parliament
Sat on the hair sack, the lamb takes a bow
So many things had changed with time
And he was prime lamb now
He made a speech with passion for a new bill to be passed
This diet has given us all gut-rot, we must change if we're to last
We have our freedom and all that we need
So let us evolve to a higher plane
Let there be peace and love throughout the world
and let us all eat grass again.
And it worked! solving all environmental,
cultural and economic problems for the rest of time!
The humans did not like eating grass initially, but they got used to it,
and could be found peacefully grazing at the sides of roads which had
become empty of cars.
Over time the humans became very hairy and this
kept them warm enough to stay out in the fresh air all the time.
It became quite common to find large
groups of them sitting under trees having long philosophical discussions
about the pointlessness of their previous culture.
But they all lived happily ever after!
RuffJohn |
